stuck in the snow

It's very cold

Monday, July 04, 2005


God I am so bored. I have to call my dear friend Amanda today so we can make plans to do something. I owe her because I "could not" come to one of her boring dinner outings at some crap restaurant. Me and Amanda have known each other since we were three, and as the years progressed I went through many transformations (or “awkward stages”), and many self discoveries, all of them guided by challenges and problems that I was forced to face (nothing that extreme, usually to do with my rebelliousness). I always noticed that Amanda never had many problems; besides the occasional fights with her sister she was always quite happy and pretty much leading a perfect life. We remained best friends until we were 12, me wild and crazy, wearing eighties style leggings and cutting my hair off, and her quiet and conservative, wearing little GAP cardigans. But once we hit junior high, things really started to change. I wasn’t in any of the same classes as her, I was with my horseback riding friend Monique, and then I met Steph in our French immersion classes together and at horseshows. Monique and Steph were both much more fun to hang out with, and as thoughtless as it is, I started to choose them over Amanda. Although it wasn’t as if I had totally abandoned Amanda, I still saw her outside of school, and a few times a week I went over to her house for lunch with some of her friends when I got sick of the tries and tribulations of the group me, Monique and Steph belonged to. I always knew I wouldn’t have to deal with any drama whilst with Amanda and her gang, nothing ever happened, we all sat there, ate our lunches and watched Arthur. Well throughout the years Amanda has barely changed at all, besides her new thing of going out to dinner at places that are extremely expensive that began in the ninth grade. She’s just…too innocent. There’s just nothing bad about Amanda, nothing daring, she’s just so bleak. She might as well be a talking placenta or something. Oh god I feel awful for trashing Amanda, what has she ever done to me? But I suppose it is good to get my feelings out there. But it's not as if I don't put any effort into it either. I usually start to talk about something and then ask her about it, but I always receive a one answer reply: Yes, No, Maybe, Yea, Ok. How am I supposed to work with that? How? I mean we're teenagers, we should be having wild parties, doing lines of coke off of each other's asses (ok not that wild), not politely sitting at a restraunt talking about nothing. Ok? OK? Yes, you can have fun at a restraunt with your friends, but not when everyone else is so conservative, and when it's too expensive and the food sucks. Oh yea, and no one else tips so you end up having to tip like, twelve dollars.


At 12:19 am, Blogger Jon said...

Sometimes people just grow apart. It doesn't mean that you don't like her, or that she doesn't like you. But maybe the dynamic in the friendship is different?

At 10:17 pm, Blogger Rachel said...

Yea, I guess.

At 2:06 am, Blogger joe said...

hey rachel, I oh so know what you mean. I have emails from friends I've known for years that I haven't replied back to in months. I owe them dinner, lunch, coffee, or whatever. but I can't stand sitting there, listening to bland conservative talk or try to coax some semblance of intelligent chitchat out of vacuums that have only gotten bigger over time. yeah, jon's right. people grow apart. but hell, do they have to be so boring too?

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