stuck in the snow

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Sex ed

OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T BLOGGED FOR MORE THAN A MONTH!!! I have finally worked procrastination down to an art. Well not much has happened in the past month anyway. Except for my birthday: 16 years of my life completely over, exams: did badly in spanish as usual but still waiting for the results, I am officially going to boarding school next september(yay!), and school is DONE! Thank god. I was getting so sick of stupid "Sex ed". At first it's fine, you're with your friends, smelling flavored condoms, looking at grotesque pictures of STD's, not really doing any work... Then BANG suddenly you're flung into the world of teachers preaching abstinence until you are married. This really pissed me off, although a lot of the other girls didn't put any thought into it, they just listened to the teacher. I kept on getting the impression from my teacher that you should marry to have sex, and once you are married you're perfectly safe from STD's and emotional difficulties surrounding sex. That's complete bullcrap. Just think about how many people cheat on their spouses, and how may couples loose their lust for each other, plus you can't forget the 50% of marriges that end in divorce. And another thing, as my wise friend once said, you need to know that you're sexually compatible with your partner before you get married. Imagine that it's your honey moon night, you've saved yourself just for this person, and the sex turns out to be awful. What happens then? Yes you love them, but do you really want to live a life with no good sex? Do you? Do you really want to have both of you faking it for the rest of your marriage (which will probably not last long)? You'll end up having to fork up a ton of cash for some sex therapist, and quite frankly, if you're young newlyweds the chances of you affording any sort of therapy is quite slim (well unless insurance covers it, I don't really know, I guess if it does you don't have that big of a problem then). Another thing is, I felt like I was being told to go off and get married, like it was necessity. There was no "If you get married" but "When you get married" and a lot of talks about what we would look for in a husband, and how he would support us. WELL I DON'T NEED A MAN IN MY LIFE! I DON'T NEED TO BE MARRIED TO BE HAPPY AND SOME GUY TO HELP ME AFFORD MY HOUSE! I CAN ADOPT A GIRL FROM CHINA ON MY OWN AND BECOME A COOL, HOT SINGLE MOTHER LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE. I mean for god's sake, it's 2005, not 1950. During the middle of the discussion I raised my hand and just blurted it out: "What if I don't want to get married? Will I never have sex?!?! Or what if I don't get married until I'm forty? I don't want to be a virgin for that long." Unfortunately the teacher gave me a speech about values and long term partners, like her uncle who had been engaged for over 30 years and according to her was an acceptable situation for intercourse. Um, that wasn't exactly what I had meant but I didn't feel like getting into it when I knew what the answers would be. Although I do understand why they tell us to wait until marriage, because it really does decrease the exposure of STDs but I just don't think that it's realistic to most people and fair on the kids who may never get married. I think it would work a lot better if they said "wait until you're out of highschool" or something like that, considering that we have had safe sex knowledge imprinted in all our brains, and so now we can make wise choices. Unless you're gay. I guess I could say I'm not all that surprised that we didn't learn about gay sex, but I am very annoyed, considering that the teacher decided to skip drugs, nutrition and eating disorders in order to learn more about (straight) "intimate relations". At a sex conference I went to with my class, we had to ask meaningfully questions to different presentations set up in order to earn points for our schools. I went around, asking things, until I went up to the school board nurse lady thing and couldn't think of a question. Suddenly, it struck me, If I was gay, or in my future I decided to have sex with a woman, I would be SO confused!!! So I asked her "Why don't we learn about homosexual sex, only heterosexual sex?" I don't really know why I didn't just say gay and straight, but at least I knew I had got my point across, because she looked very surprised. She praised me for being so insightful and then told me that no one had ever thought about that and that she was going to go discuss it with the rest of the nurse-sex-education-thing she belongs to. Wow, I may have actually influenced education, which has been one of my life long goals. But I guess the big picture is that not learning about gay sex creates a subliminal message that it's still unacceptable, even though where I live same sex marriage is legal. It's just a big hypocrisy! Wow, does this make me a revoluntionary (is that actually a word)? I think it does! O well, at least I learned about how to make wise choices in the bedroom (or the elevator, or the airplane toilet, or the tampoline, or the chandelier, or the...). At least I don't live in Alabama or something, where flavored condoms are probably banned, and HIV/AIDS is secretly spreading like wildfire but no one talks about it because of the stigma, and beleifs...I guess I am pretty lucky.


At 9:48 pm, Blogger Jon said...

Sex ed is one of those sunjects that should be taught, but just isn't aught the right way. Good for you for asking questions and challenging authority!

And you going to a boarding school next year? Do tell!

At 11:58 am, Blogger no milk said...

oooh oooh i want to be a hot single mama like angeline jolie too!

At 10:11 am, Blogger joe said...

happy belated birthday! happy belated pride! (yes, you missed it.. probably missed it while thinking about how to ask insanely good questions at your sex ed conference) and happy belated canada day!!!

oh, and boarding school, eh? you've got to blog from there. :)

At 4:42 pm, Blogger Rachel said...

jon: Yes I agree! I'm going to boarding school in Ireland next year, they have a much better education system than Canada. I'm so excited!
no milk: I love what Angelina does to Madox's hair, little mini mohawks!
joe:Thank you! I'll sneak off to the computers, don't worry.

At 10:57 pm, Blogger Dave said...

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