stuck in the snow

It's very cold

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Crap, I still have to do my assignement.

To my love thee gracious Olivia I AM SO F*CKING BORED. OH MY GOD. I wouldn’t be surprised if my head just suddenly lolled off from being so immensely bored. How the hell am I supposed to learn crap when I am SO BORED. This is the extreme epitome of boredom, the essence of absolute nothingness. Just squatting there like a mentally deficient duck. Why am I supposed to do this stupid letter about love. I don’t know sh*t about love for god’s sake, I’M FIFTEEN. I can’t write about something that just adds supplementary boredom to my already bleak existence. God, write about bastard Shakespeare and his painfully boring play, Twelfth Night. It’s as if I’m injecting boredom into my veins, except unlike heroin, IT’S BOREING. What the hell was wrong with Shakespeare, what the hell is wrong with the world? Shakespeare is just some dull idiot who decided to write some crap down, and lord behold, people decided he was some genius. One day in class I’m going to go into compulsions, or what ever the hell it’s called, because the air will be so dry from Shakespeare’s boring words that my brain will collapse. And Shakespeare is not funny, WHY THE HELL IS MY TEACHER LAUGHING? Hahaha, Orsino loves Olivia, and Malvolio’s an idiot, oooo woooow, never seen that before. You could make a much better play about some girl who wishes she was Charlotte Casiraghi, but nobody does…Because they’re all sitting there reading crap Shakespeare. And writing stupid assignments based on Twelfth Night. Honestly, Shakespeare is over-rated in the adult world as pot is over-rated in the teenage world. Adults read and study Shakespeare because everyone around them thinks it’s clever, sophisticated, witty, a milestone in literature. Teenagers smoke pot because it’s seen as cool, dangerous, rule breaking, exciting. Unfortunately, in reality Shakespeare is the exceedingly boring and so is pot. I have extensive experience in both. If you actually think Shakespeare is remarkable, you are probably the most boring thing in the whole universe. But don’t feel bad, because this means there are a lot of super boring things in the universe. And Shakespeare is sitting in some galaxy reading his wonderfully boring plays aloud with all of the Shakespeare lovers staring in overwhelming admiration, dressed up like Christian missionaries.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

My brother...broke the window, serisously!

Today I walked back from school only to realize that I forgot my key (again). I didn't know what to do so I went and unpacked my bag, to check for a key that might have got pushed down to the bottom. Unfortunately I didn't have one, but luckily I saw my brother coming and decided to pretend I was having fun on the trampoline. My trampoline sucks because my parents are lazy idiots and decided not to bring it back inside during the winter, so now it doesn't bounce. I mean I did try, but I do need help, and no one wanted to help me. Anyway I looked over to see my brother open the door, and smash it shut and snap the lock closed. That bastard. I already had a headache from breathing in pesticides and all I wanted to do was go relax. I didn't know what to do so I started banging on the door, and kicking it. Then I decided to throw pebbles at his window to get his attention. His bedroom is up pretty high, so I kept on missing do to lack up upper body mass, so I threw harder. Then suddenly !*!*!SMASH!*!*! Wah??? How'd I brake that window??? HOW??? Is my aim really that bad that I smashed the first story window, when my brother's room is on the third? Well it is a pretty huge window, but it's still on the first floor. I stood there, gaping in horror for a few seconds, until I noticed that my dad was coming. Uh oh... I didn't know what to do, so I did what anyone should do, blame it on someone else.
"Dad! I was on the trampoline and then Marc came and smashed the window and said 'Haha! Now mom and dad are gonna think you did it!' and then he ran inside and locked the door shut!"
I expected my dad to get mad, but my dad got really mad, much worse then what I expected, and based on previous experiences of course.
"Oh SH*T!" He said, then stormed inside and yelled, "You're so ungrateful! You don't care a sh*t about this house! I'm going to sell this house and then we can move into a tiny TOWN HOUSE! How would you like that? I can't afford all of this!!!" Then to my shock, he started to sob and ran away into his room. WOAH! I have a feeling that my dad has MANY underlying issues, and by many, I mean ALOT, and by alot I mean a BILLION. Especially because he can afford this, and even he can't, my mom can, and if she can't, I can. Well I really should be paying, but seeing as this is my brother's fault anyway for locking me out, he should. I feel really bad now though. And I also have a feeling that karma is going to get me. What goes around comes around...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

My mummy

Last Sunday (mother's day), I ended up pratically decapitating myself. I can't remember exactly how it happened, but I do remember the excrushiating pain. I was running into the washroom when suddenly my hand smashed against the door frame, and when I looked down the skin on my middle finger had been ripped off, but was still hanging on by a thread. OH MY GOD THIS IS SOOOOOOO PAINFUL. I didn't really know what to do, so I called out "MOOOOM! MoooOOooOOom! MoooOOooOooM!" in a sort of pathetic whipering voice. She came and asked me what happened, and I showed her my finger, now gushing blood. Suddenly I felt all the blood in my head drain away and a quick rushing sound appeared. "MooOOooM..... I feel dizzy." Well I wasn't crying, so I might as well faint, right? I was just dissapointed some geourgous Prince wasn't there to save my fall. "Come lie down." my mom told me, and she led me to one of the window seats, my mother's obsessed with window seats. She go me some water and let me sip it as she retreived some first aid kit, and then worked on my finger. Good thing I made her that cake for mother's day, I thought...I mean I have to pretend I know how important she is before I actually find out. "There we go, all better." she told me, and I looked down to see one of those giant bandages on my finger. "The skin should fuse back to your finger soon." At that moment I suddenly realized how much I depend on my mother, If she hadn't been there, my finger would have probably ended in the garbage bin or something. And luckily, she's less uptight about money than my dad is. Unfortunately she can be really stressfull and annoying, but then anyone is if you've lived with them for almost 16 years.

Friday, May 06, 2005


GRRRRR...I'm super pissed, because I have a headache that is quickly turning into a migrane, I can feel it. And this is how I got it:
It was the end of school for the week and I could finally go home and relax in bliss because I wan't assigned any homework. YAY!!! I was so happy, especially since this has been an exceptionally boring week, with lots of work and lots of mental stress. So I pranced out of the school like a little school girl "LaLaLaLaLaLa" and headed off home. I live about 2 and a half miles away from school so it takes me an hour to get home but I don't really mind. So I was walking down a street, half way home, when I saw an unusually green lawn of grass in front of a dentist's office. It looked as if aliens had landed on it and used their radio-activity to make it al one shade of green. Then suddenly I smelled the familiar toxic smell of pesticides, which immediately started pressing down painfully on my head. I barely noticed the "Don't walk here or your children will have birth defects" sign falling over in the dirt because rage was building up inside of me. WHAT GIVES YOU THE F*CKING RIGHT TO SPRAY THIS F*CKING SH*T ALL OVER YOUR STUPID UPPER MIDDLE CLASS DENTIST LAWN AND GIVE ME A F*CKING MIGRANE FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS AND RUIN MY WEEKEND. NOT TO MENTION GIVING ME THYROID CANCER IN MY 40'S AND SLOWLY DESTROYING MY NERVOUS SYSTEM OVER THE COURSE OF MY NOW DRAMATICALLY SHORTENED LIFE. THANK YOU SOOOOO F*CKING MUCH. I honestly don't understand it, people really don't get how much damage pesticides do. I had a friend who's family sprayed the lawn to get rid of insects, and I told them all about the effects pesticides actually have on people and animals and the environment and all they said was "Yea well..." and let their children run around on the freshly sprayed lawn. By no means am I a sandals and socks wearing tree hugger, but after finding out what pesticides actually do, I've been severely against them. I mean, why do you think 1 in 3 people get cancer in the first place? And what is the ultimate purpose of having a "perfect" field of grass? So you can wake up in the morning and smile, basking in a green glow...before you notice the lump on your side? Goody. God I feel so sick...oooowww my head, why the hell am I on the computer? Bye bye, and for god's sake people, stop spraying your lawns, if I get another fucking migrane from it I'll blow your stupid suburban lawns up. An eye for an eye, right?