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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sex Positions and Pregnancy Tests

Today in fitness we had to do yoga from a video. It was brilliantly retarded, there was that extremely annoying music that is supposed to be calming and the woman looked exactly like Jerry Seinfeld, except blonde. What I have grasped from that video is that yoga is basically a way to perfect sex positions, the Jerry Seinfeld woman kept on saying "Reach your legs out farther, farther, you can do it!" which got the whole class pissing themselves with laughter. It was just so difficult to not take it in a sexual way, any way it's not like anyone was actually doing the poses (except the two dancers in the class) so it wasn't that bad, unless you want to see Jerry Seinfeld do them (haha pretty nice image you must have in your mind now!). And I must say, after watching that video I think I finally know all I need to know about sex. I went through the rest of my day like normal, and then proceeded to walk home. Since I have a very err...petit bladder, I had to go use the washroom so I walked into Tim Hortons (a Canadian food chain that you can find on every block, much like Starbucks) and went into the only empty stall which an elderly lady had just come out of. I shut the door and turned around when suddenly I noticed a small package resting on the toilet paper dispenser. I looked closer and noticed that it was a pregnancy testing kit and that there was still one of those tester things that change colour when you pee on them in the box. Hahaha that would be so funny if I peed on it to see if I was pregnant, I thought. Even when I know I'm not pregnant, there's always that surge of excitement that I could have my very own baby to dress up in little cashmere jumpers and read stories to. But obviously having a child at fifteen would be extremely inconvenient. Anyway I didn't take the test because that would have been really stupid and slightly disappointing. Besides, what if the lady who wanted to know if she was pregnant had simply forgotten the test and came back to get it and found out that someone else wanted to know if they were pregnant too? Uh yeah right, it was probably some girl my age about to make the biggest decision of her life. Wow, I hope she's okay...


At 5:46 am, Blogger Jon said...

At 26, yoga makes me giggle. I need to grow up, I suppose. I doubt that the pregnancy test was the old lady's- she was probably just as surprised to see it as you were :P

At 10:24 am, Blogger Wayne said...

At 27 (oh sh*T, i'm older than fashmagsag) - I still doing yoga. Hehe. As a matter of fact, I just started Yoga not too long ago. The DVD that I use to pratice are the series by Louis Soloman.. and oh my gawd, was she SLOW. My sheeshy sheesh. But you know, you are right about the sexual position and stuff... Yoga not only shape and tones your body... It also make you more flexable and strengthen your abdominal muscle. Give you more control over your hip area...

Pregnancy test kid? I bet that belongs to the Cleaning Lady.

At 1:28 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

speaking of young pregnant girls, even if i'm a pro-choicer, i believe that it is the utmost last resort if a girl gets pregnant. there's always someone out there who will love the baby.


At 11:37 pm, Blogger Rachel said...

Jon: If you can't giggle at yoga, what can you giggle at?

Wayne: My mom bought this yoga tape with this guy in a REALLY tight speedo, er... you could see alot. I should really try yoga, but I like to do pilates instead.

go_wade_in: I agree completely, plus you wouldn't have that cloud pf guilt hanging over your head. Although I really think that it depnds what situation you're in too.

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