stuck in the snow

It's very cold

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sex Positions and Pregnancy Tests

Today in fitness we had to do yoga from a video. It was brilliantly retarded, there was that extremely annoying music that is supposed to be calming and the woman looked exactly like Jerry Seinfeld, except blonde. What I have grasped from that video is that yoga is basically a way to perfect sex positions, the Jerry Seinfeld woman kept on saying "Reach your legs out farther, farther, you can do it!" which got the whole class pissing themselves with laughter. It was just so difficult to not take it in a sexual way, any way it's not like anyone was actually doing the poses (except the two dancers in the class) so it wasn't that bad, unless you want to see Jerry Seinfeld do them (haha pretty nice image you must have in your mind now!). And I must say, after watching that video I think I finally know all I need to know about sex. I went through the rest of my day like normal, and then proceeded to walk home. Since I have a very err...petit bladder, I had to go use the washroom so I walked into Tim Hortons (a Canadian food chain that you can find on every block, much like Starbucks) and went into the only empty stall which an elderly lady had just come out of. I shut the door and turned around when suddenly I noticed a small package resting on the toilet paper dispenser. I looked closer and noticed that it was a pregnancy testing kit and that there was still one of those tester things that change colour when you pee on them in the box. Hahaha that would be so funny if I peed on it to see if I was pregnant, I thought. Even when I know I'm not pregnant, there's always that surge of excitement that I could have my very own baby to dress up in little cashmere jumpers and read stories to. But obviously having a child at fifteen would be extremely inconvenient. Anyway I didn't take the test because that would have been really stupid and slightly disappointing. Besides, what if the lady who wanted to know if she was pregnant had simply forgotten the test and came back to get it and found out that someone else wanted to know if they were pregnant too? Uh yeah right, it was probably some girl my age about to make the biggest decision of her life. Wow, I hope she's okay...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


So much homework...
Ok I am adding more to this post because I would like to say how thankfull I am for sequins. Next Thanksgiving that's what I'm saying, "I'm thankful for sequins". Not only do they sparkle and shine, they can make hideously ugly things beautiful. Take my english project for example, we have to make a book with poems in it and I decided to paint the name (Teenage Bilionaires, cool name, I know!) on the cover with acrylics...uhh I forgot how hard it was to paint letters. Usually I'm not so bad at art, but painting letters is not one of my strong points so basically the thing looked like sh*t. So desperately I decided to paint XOXO on the bottom to make it look teenager-ish, but it ended up looking prostitute-ish, so to add some innocence I added a star which lifted it up a little bit. But it still looked like sh*t, so what did I do? I decided to put on SEQUINS! I am going to engulf the whole cover in sequins, or at least try. The moment I placed the first sequin on the cover I knew I was doing the right thing. Yes, this is looking much better now.
Completely off topic but I hope we have a day off school due to the weather tomorow. It poured rain all day and then it dropped below zero and started to snow at night. On monday (Valentine's) Nobody came to school because of the roads, it had rained freezing rain the night before, but the school board decided to not close down schools. Anyway there was only about three to four people in a class, so we did nothing which was fun. OOOPS...It's twelve in the morning, I guess I should work on my project.

Thursday, February 10, 2005


Wow, my cat really wants to eat the pastry I'm eating right now. He's trying to pick it up and little boy's growing up...tear... Actually my cat, who is named Pachy, not Patchy, Pachy (I was eight and forgot the t okay?) has been trying to eat my food a lot, and I'm vegetarian so that's a bit strange. The other day I was eating veggie chicken nuggets with ketchup and suddenly Pachy jumps up out of no where and tires to eat them, I gave him a little bit of the tofu-chicken but he just came back for more and more until he had eating my whole meal. I ended up smuggling more into the library where he's not allowed because my parents spent all their money on it and they don't want him to wreck any thing (he likes to scratch stuff and knock down things like lamps, he's pretty strong). Another time I was eating a vegetarian borrito with cheddar cheese sauce mmm...and Pachy came back and stuck his face into it, which was really cute but kind of pissed me off too because he likes to carry dead things in his mouth. O yeah and he always tries to eat my carrots too. He never tried to eat this stuff before, the only people food he ate before was vanilla ice cream and meat but that's understandable because he's a cat and cats like milk and meat. Come to think of it, he only does this with me, maybe it's some powerful bond me and Pachy share that attracts him to my food. Soon we will be communicating with some extrordinary cat-human language. Or maybe not. But that would be cool. Anyway it's late and I have school tomorrow, which gets me thinking, it would be so much fun to bring Pachy to school! We would get into all sorts of hilarious situations and it could become an Emmy winning sitcom. It could be called "Pachy and Rachel go to Highschool" and there could be positive messegs in it, like "Pachy and Rachel Say No to Drugs" and "Pachy and Rachel Help stop Bullying". Yeah, I need to get some sleep.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Buenos dias!

I hate Sundays, because when it's Sunday I'm always anticipating Monday. School does things like that, before when I was wandering around doing nothing I didn't care what day it was because everyday was blissfully the same. My days consisted of: being woken up by the smell of my mother making me my daily French omelet, eating the omelet, going downstairs to watch the Food Network channel until Ellen Degeneres was on, then watching Seinfeild. In a nice mood from laughing for one and a half hours I would go up and have a nice long refreshing shower with lemon grass products. After that I would go into my bedroom to dry off and read fashion magazines and then change into some ratty old clothes because I wouldn't be going out for another few hours. I would then proceed to steal a movie from my brother (who was at school all day hehehe) and go down to the library, turn the gas fire on full blast, and watch the movie and other DVD's on my dad's laptop. After a while the fire would make the place so hot that I would fall into a deep sleep and be woken up by my cat softly mewing at the door. Then I would change into breeches and boots and ride my pony, Tyson, kiss him good bye and head off back home and watch another movie or Seinfeld or Father Ted or Breakfast at Tiffany's. At around eight I would go for a walk with my parents and at around ten I would go for a run on the treadmill. Throw in some friends and a boxing class on the weekends and that was my life, pure bliss. Nothing was happening but I wasn't bored at all which in my opinion is the best situation.
I really don't have to be at school this semester, because I'll be doing the same year in Ireland next year, but I think it's good to get back into the school mentality. Plus I can get a head start on Spanish! Buenos dias, buenas tardes, buenas noches; uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. I hope that's right, I have a test on that tomorrow. Going back to school isn't as bad as I thought it would be, it's almost like I was in school all year...almost.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

My invisible friends

Today was the first day of school for me in a while because I had been sick, and because the school I went to last year was full of crack addicts and Nazi symbols I got to go to a better school this time. I forgot how boring school was, I got all excited to go back for nothing, but I did meet some nice people though which was a relief because I didn't have to eat lunch alone. So all in all it wasn't that bad. Anyway, as I was walking back home from school I noticed this girl with long wavy blonde hair standing by herself talking, but no one else was around so I instinctively looked to see if she was on her mobile, she wasn't. Then I thought maybe she had one of those head phone things that are hard to see, but she wasn't using one of those either. She was just standing, all alone having a conversation with nothing. I don't know, maybe she was talking to her imaginary friend, but she seemed a bit old for that and anyway, when I was little and talked to my imaginary friends I didn't talk out loud because I knew people would stare at me so I just talked to them in my head. Who was she talking to? WHO? Was it some magical creature that I can't see because I'm not a blonde maiden or is she just schizophrenic? I hope she isn't schizophrenic because that would be really amazing that she was talking to something that is invisible, but I'm kind of mad that she gets to talk to invisible things and not me, that would make life really quite interesting. Maybe I should dye my hair blonde, can magical creatures tell the difference?