stuck in the snow

It's very cold

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Dear Ashley Simpson,

Look Ashley, I have something to tell you, that I should have told you ions ago:
Don't become a singer if you can't sing. This is one of the reasons I have never dreamt of becoming a singer, I can't sing, like you. Chances are if I ever did become a singer I would have to lip synch, like you. If I ever performed without lip syncing I would get booed, like you. Unlike you I understand that singing will never be an option for me unless I am singing very quietly to the radio.
Why Ashley? Why the hell did you decide to become a singer? You should have stayed on Seventh Heaven, they would have kept you on the show. It was a steady paying job Ashley! You don't just throw that away for a singing career when you can't even sing! You had things going for you, you acted and danced. You could have dyed your hair a nicer color (like chocolate with auburn highlights) and had a reality show about being an actor and starring in movies. But instead you dyed your hair a greasy-oil-spill black and decided to document your already over singing career.
You've screwed up twice Ashley, twice. The first time you got away with it, you made up a story about your acid reflux and people forgave you and you joked about it. The second time, when you "preformed" at the Orange Bowl (whatever that is), nobody forgave you. You sounded like some un-earthly animal dying in extreme pain. You were booed by the whole stadium, you should have just stuck to lip syncing. I know, I know, the sound system was failing, you developed a mysterious throat disease over night, your acid reflux was acting up (you shouldn't become a singer if your acid reflux contantly impairs your singing), I've heard it all.
Maybe you should disappear for a while, dye your hair another colour that compliments your complexion, get a nose job and come back as Isabel Simpson, the little sister of Jessica Simpson and Ashley Simpson, who committed suicide in a basement after she was booed at the Orange cup. This time Ashley...or should I say Isabel I think you should stick to acting. Play a little sister on a W.B. show, and NEVER sing again.
Love from,
Rachel

P.S. What was that pink thing waving out of your ass?

5 Comments:

At 4:23 pm, Blogger Wayne said...

Yeah. she's much better as an actress.

PS. The pink thing was her "Acid"

 
At 11:08 pm, Blogger Rachel said...

I feel sort of bad for her, she has acid waving out of her butt.

 
At 11:18 am, Blogger Wayne said...

Her ass must have been felt like they are on fire. Damn acids.

 
At 12:14 pm, Blogger Rachel said...

well I guess that explains the singing...

 
At 10:36 pm, Blogger Rhinoplasty Los Angeles said...

I’m planning to get my nose straightened… I find this is good info for people who would try to know something about rhinoplasty

 

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