stuck in the snow

It's very cold

Monday, June 14, 2004

My brother

Usually this title would result in something irritating my brother has done, but not today. I am seriously worried about him. Maybe it's from watching too much Dr. Phil but I'm certain that my brother is an emotional eater. I don't really see him that often, but when he comes home from school I always see him gorging down candy bars, rappers all over the place and then there’s no more food left for me :(! When it comes to dinner he is always coming back for more and more, and then swallows it in one big gulp, like he can never get enough, then its back to the fridge. I've seen him go from a happy little skinny six year old to a depressed over-weight thirteen year old who takes his pent up anger on his family, this is getting depressing. Looking back on the years he has never had that many friends, but was always part of a small group at school and had plenty of kids at his birthday parties, but suddenly in grade six that all started to change when he noticeably started gaining weight. He started to spend more and more time on his computer and less and less time playing and hanging out with his friends. That year I think he invited a couple of his friends for his birthday, I don't know how it went...I wasn't invited. He spent all last summer on his computer watching DVDs and playing games, and started to smell. This year he seems to be completely exiled from anything remotely social, never talks on the phone or spends any time out of the house. I know for a fact that he is having problems with the kids at school, I went to the same middle school last year, and kids like him suffered so much bullying, it was horrible. The other day he went to see Shrek 2 by himself, not meeting anyone or with my parents, by himself. I felt sooo bad for him, maybe he wanted to go se it by himself, I don't know, but I think it's sort of sad that he has no friends to go with him. Even worse, I think I may single handily responsible for my brother's social problems. The years of teasing and making fun of him have finally caught up with me/my brother...and now I really regret it. I was talking to my parents about him, I've been trying to explain to them that his behaviour isn't normal, yes, boys his age might eat alot, but they do wash (well all the ones I've met, seriously they all started to wear deodorant in grade four!) at least five times a week and do hang out with friends. My parents think he is all ok, they actually think if he had any problems he would tell them! Luckily it's summer but I think my parents should put my brother into therapy...he's even more screwed up than me! O well I'm going off to boarding school this September, I'm sure that will make him feel a bit better lol.
P.S. I’m very busy with exams so sorry if I don’t blog as often!

Thursday, June 10, 2004


Yes! After days of waiting in turmoil and a stress over load the letter came, I got into boarding school! And not just any boarding school, the best boarding school in Ireland (I'm also Irish, and been there so many times, so it wont be that weird for me). I'm sooo happy! The funny thing is, if you were to ask me if I wanted to go to boarding school a year ago I would have passed out at the thought of leaving everything behind, but ever since I started high school I've begun to think otherwise. The one thing I noticed was that basically all the teachers at my school (which shall remain nameless) were completely ignorant. If I wanted to know how to improve my grades they would all say something like "That's your problem, not mine" or "I think you know the answer to that" and I am not one of those hopeless students! I even had a math teacher who wouldn't give my friend extra help and told her that "You need to be extremely gifted to pass this course, and you're not one of those people so there's no point." She had a 49%, one more percent and she would have passed. It's not like we were in any special enrichment class either, just plain academic. Also, they all seem to not want to do their jobs, they even complain to us about their low salaries! I know they don’t get paid much and teaching high school kids can’t be much fun, but they chose to be teachers, right? Then the education system is horrible (I’m in all academic classes), we're still studying Canadian geography (since grade three), the math is so repetitive and un-organized, science is basically what we did last year and in English we reviewed things that anybody that speaks English should know (what are vowels and nouns?)! So basically I am not learning a thing, well actually the "health" system is very good, I learned Ok enough ranting, lol. Any way I started to think about my career goals and since I don't really have any I thought it would be best for me to get the best education I can get, because I'm obviously not getting it here. This is going to be so weird! I'm supposed to leave this September! Maybe I'll develop an Irish accent, like Madonna when she moved to England. Maybe boarding school will turn out to be fun, like in Harry Potter! Haha…..

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

sick (again)

Wow! I haven’t posted anything for sooooo long! I haven’t been on the computer for DAYS! It feels weird to type again lol. Not much has really happened, to me any way. The weather here has finally gotten better, and I took my pony out for a couple trail rides in the nearby forest. Then yesterday I was feeling sick (seriously, I have been sick SO many times this year, there’s something wrong with the water, or maybe the drug infested school I am forced to attend), and I had to go to this chocolate cooking class with my best friend Amanda, we were the youngest ones there. Usually I would have been super excited to go gorge myself on chocolate, but not this time. There were other much older people there and we all took turns making stuff that we would later on be eating, such as white chocolate crème brule, chocolate icing, brownies, and fondue. I think people should know how much f*ing butter gets put into this stuff, you might as well eat a raw packet and sprinkle some cocoa on it, you’d be eating the same thing. Still feeling sort of woozy, I sat down and ate some of the fondue (just basically pouring some chocolate over top of small pieces of fruit and bread), which was sooo good I forgot about the butter and being sick. Then came the brownies, we each got one with icing sloshed on the top and yoghurt on the side, it was really good, but really rich and solid, which my stomach didn’t agree with even though I only took three tiny bites. I wrapped it up later for my mom so it wouldn’t be wasted. Then finally came the crème brule, I got to scorch the top of mine with sugar and propane which was my favourite part of the night (future arsonist?). Too bad this was also super rich, I wasn’t really going to eat all of it but I saw the chef watching me nervously out of the corner of her eye, so I tried to enjoy it, which would have been a lot easier if I hadn’t felt like I was about to vomit (sorry). We finally left, and I learned not to eat high glutton meals when I am nauseous, you shouldn’t either, they will be ruined for you forever.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Don't move! I've got chocolate sauce!

hahaha by brother's in trouble now! It all happened when my parents and me got back from treadmill shopping (this doesn't include my brother because, well, he thinks chewing is an exercise). I walked up stairs to finish up on my English project when I saw the computer screen, IT WAS THAT STUPID CITY-BUILDING GAME MY BROTHER PLAYS, NOT MY ENGLISH PROJECT! I ran to the computer, desperate to find a way out and back to my essay, and tried to exit the stupid game, nothing was moving, the computer was frozen! I had no other choice but to re-boot the computer and search for my project, but it wasn't there! Nothing was saved! Suddenly I felt a towering rage within me... must get revenge, so I took the CD out and ran to the balcony, you must pay! and flung it down to the ground. Unfortunatley it didn't brake so I ran down the stairs, through the door and smashed it up with a rock. Still not satisfied I walked back to the kitchen to see my brother stuffing his face. Just looking at him filled me with rage once again and I started screaming at him, but the blank look on his face pissed me off even more. I grabbed my shoe and tried to fling it at him, like the little girl does to the multi-headed giant mouse in the Nutcracker, but my dad had gotten in the way and I missed. I needed to find something else to throw at him, anything, so I threw open the cupboard and grabbed to first thing I saw, chocolate sauce! I was about to fling the bottle at him when I had a better idea. SMOOOShhshOOOOIiiieeeeSHHHh, the thick chocolate sauce hit my brother all over his face and on his shirt! YESSSSSS!!!! HAHAHA Go me! Go me! Go me! My brother got so mad he started smashing into the walls while chasing after me, which caused him to smear the sauce all over the house, and once I was on top of the stairs I shot more chocolate sauce on him, he was covered in it! Hehehe, chocolate sauce makes me very powerful indeed.